You Are Not Alone: Understanding Self-Injury with Compassion

What is Self-Harm?

Self-harm is often misunderstood and reduced to assumptions that do not reflect the complexity of the experience. Self-harm is defined as any act of self-poisoning or self-injury carried out by a person, irrespective of motivation (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence).

Self-Harm vs. Non-Suicidal Self-Injury

It is important to distinguish between self-harm and non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), although the terms are sometimes used interchangeably.

Non-suicidal self-injury refers specifically to deliberate harm inflicted on oneself without the intention of ending one’s life (Zhou et al., 2026). This may include behaviours such as cutting, burning, or hitting oneself.

For many, NSSI serves as a way to regulate overwhelming emotions—whether to release tension, regain a sense of control, or externalise internal pain.

This does not make the behaviour any less serious. Even without suicidal intent, self-injury can have significant physical and psychological consequences and often signals that a person is deeply struggling.

Why Do People Engage in Self-Injury?

From an outside perspective, self-injury can be difficult to understand. It may even seem contradictory—why would someone hurt themselves to feel better?

Psychologically, self-injury can serve several functions. It may act as a coping mechanism when emotions feel too intense or confusing to process. Feelings such as guilt, shame, anger, or emptiness can become overwhelming, and self-injury may offer a temporary sense of relief or clarity.

For some, it is a way to feel something when numbness takes over. For others, it becomes a form of self-punishment, or a way to communicate distress when words feel insufficient.

In this sense, self-injury is less about the behaviour itself and more about what it represents: an attempt to manage pain with the tools available at the time.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

For many, self-injury often occurs behind closed doors, making it difficult to detect. Many individuals go to great lengths to conceal their behaviour due to feelings of shame or fear of judgment.  Many also appears to be functioning well—attending classes, meeting deadlines, smiling in conversations—while privately dealing with overwhelming distress.

There are signs that may suggest someone is struggling with self harm/NSSI:

• Unexplained cuts, burns, or bruises

• Wearing long sleeves or covering up even in warm weather

• Sudden changes in mood or increased irritability

• Becoming withdrawn or avoiding social interactions

• Engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviours

These signs are not definitive proof of self-injury, but they may indicate that someone needs support.

How Can You Support Someone?

Supporting someone who self-injures can feel overwhelming, especially if you are unsure what to say or do. One of the most meaningful things you can offer is to be present without judgment. Creating a space where someone feels safe to open up can make a significant difference.

• Listen without trying to “fix” immediately. Being heard can be more powerful than advice.

• Avoid reacting with shock or anger. These responses, though understandable, may cause the person to withdraw further.

• Encourage professional help. Gently suggest speaking to a counsellor, psychologist, or trusted adult.

• Be patient. Recovery is not linear, and setbacks can happen.

The Takeaway

Conversations around self-injury are often surrounded by stigma, making it harder for individuals to seek help. Awareness is not just about recognising behaviours; it is about reshaping how we respond to them.

Self-injury is often mislabelled as attention-seeking. In reality, it is more accurately understood as a sign that someone needs attention, care, and understanding. By approaching the topic with empathy rather than judgment, we create space for healing to begin.

If this resonates with you or someone you know, consider reaching out to a mental health professional, a trusted friend, or a support service. You do not have to navigate this alone.

If you are in immediate distress or thinking about harming yourself, please seek urgent support at CPCS when in campus or call emergency services/a crisis helpline e.g., 999, HEAL at 15555, Talian Kasih at 15999 or Befrienders at 03-79568145